


A life without you is not one worth living

by Bayerngirl19



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Hints of Benni/Julian, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 17:23:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2858891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bayerngirl19/pseuds/Bayerngirl19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You don't realise how much you love someone until they go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A life without you is not one worth living

Mats sighed the streams if tears still stinging his face as he pushed his back against the wall and sunk down against it with a nearly empty bottle of Jack Daniels in his left hand with one last swig the bottle was empty.

 

Then that was when his mind flashed back to the day Benedikt left him

 

“ _Mats I just can't do this any more” He looked at Mats with pity_

_Mats let a tear drip down his face he wanted to him to know how much this hurts “Why”_

_Benedikt took his hand and looked him in the eye “Mats I don't love you any more”_

“ _But I love you”_

“ _Mats, it doesn't matter we can't be together anyway, you know as well as I do footballers can not be gay, it's sad but it's just the way it is”_

 

_and with that he turned around and left leaving Mats alone on the damp pavements of Dortmund_

 

“ _But i'll give my career up for you” but those were words Benedikt never got to hear._

 

Mats eyes burned fresh tears rolled down his cheeks, managing to pull him self up from the ground in his drunken state Mats decided to go up to Benedikt's home. Mats felt numb as he stepped onto the snowy streets of Dortmund wearing only a tshirt, the only thing he could feel is the pain in his chest. 

 

He arrived within twenty minutes eventually calling a taxi realising it is much too far to walk. The cab dropped him off around the corner, turning the corner Mats saw the home of the man he still loved in the distance. Whether it was the whisky on the ice on the ground Mats didn't know but some how he ended on his ass at the bottom of hill, pulling himself up Mats winced from the pain in his elbow not that he cared standing just meets away from Benni Mats knocked on the door.

 

“Mats?” Benedikt gasped at the sight in front of him, drunken and bloody.

“Benni please” 

“Aren't you cold?” 

“No, I love you please tell me you love me too”

The pause told Mats all he needed to know “Sorry” 

“Why? You-” Mats was cut off as another person appeared “Who is it babe?” 

“Babe?” Mats scoffed 

Julian looked at the ground then up at Benedikt “You didn't tell him did you?” 

shaking his head then turning to Mats “I'm with Julian now” 

Julian wrapped his hand around Benedikt's shoulder and that's when Mats noticed the ring 

“You are engaged?” _Benni had rejected his proposal_

“I'm in love with him Mats, just go Mats I stopped loving you a long time ago”

Mats picked up Benedikt's hand “But I never stopped loving you” 

“Mats just go” Benedikt slammed the door closed. 

 

Mats didn't remember how he arrived home, ignoring his bloody elbow he went straight into the medicine cupboard taking out what ever pills he could fine and washed down the lot with a bottle of whisky. The only words he left on the suicide words were  _A life without Benni isn't one worth living._

 

By the time someone noticed Mats was missing it was too late nothing the emergency services could do, a waterfall of tears came from Benedikt eyes as he picked up a cold, pale, lifeless hand. 

 

“I never stopped loving you either Mats” 

”

 


End file.
